I have been experimenting and playing with paint a lot these days. It is one of my summer vacation goals… play and make as many paintings as I please. Enjoy making messes. Have some fun by myself. Explore this interesting fetish and my need to express myself.
Not to sound like a cliché, but I started pouring paint. It’s exactly the kind of mess I have been looking for. Not only are the results cool, but it is just some good childish fun. Tutorials kept showing up on my YouTube feed and my curiosity finally got the best of me.
Of course, I started thinking about abandonning the canvas and pouring the paint directly on me. But the only place I could do this would be in my outdoor art/mess-making space in the country… en plein air.
Oddly, I was in a shitty headspace about myself and my body, and almost didn’t do it because I couldn’t stand to be naked with myself. Not then. Not in that frame of mind. But then that little voice told me to abandon my self-hating talk along with the canvas and just pour. Be in the moment. Feel the paint drip. Feel it glide over my unevenly sun-tanned skin. Let the breeze lick and caress me as I lose myself and my self-deprecating ruminations.
It worked. I felt way better about myself after, and took some nice photos that made me feel beautiful when moments before I felt unbearably ugly. Not asking for compliments or pity at all… that is just how I feel sometimes, and I always work it through on my own and come out feeling better.
The gif might not be as focused as I would like, but you get the gist of what’s going on here.
I actually did make a painting but I will show it in another post.