*** Warning: I expose a rather strange kink… ahem. ***
I love trees.
More than what may be considered normal.
My love of trees has definitely moved into another realm over the years.
I wrote a story a couple of years ago that included a very sexually charged scene with a tree – a violent scene -but deeply carnal;
Maybe I had seen The Evil Dead too many times.
But I love them.
And they love me.
Call me a pervert,
A sexual deviant,
And I would not deny any of those labels,
But nature arouses me in ways I don’t bother to try to understand… anymore.
Maybe it’s the phallic nature of trees that attracts me to them.
Maybe it is how vulva-like the fissures often found in ancient gnarled trunks appear to me.
Maybe it’s the feel of their rough bark against my cheeks, my neck, my lips… my breasts… my inner thighs….
Maybe it is their ability to calm me,
Erase my thoughts
And the overrated logic and sense that override my feelings and intuition.
Maybe it is how connected to the Earth, and oddly, the cosmos, they make me feel.
Maybe it is their sublime ability to teach me how to exist.
I just want to be in their presence,
And press my whole self, inside and out, against them,
And feel their sacred energy penetrate me.
I want to meld my own warm, viscous sap with theirs, and let them cover me in bark and branches and boughs and leaves until I can’t tell the differene between the resonance of my soul and the resonance of theirs;
But maybe there is no difference, and that is why I always find myself wrapped around them.
I know it is strange and disconcerting, to be attracted in this way to trees, but I have never once been a normal person…
And I hopefully never will be.