Sleeping box

Weird Poetry

Right after she was born

I had terrible claustrophobia.

It only lasted a few days but it was

Mental hell.

When night time fell,

That always made it worse.

I was afraid to fall asleep

But also afraid to not fall asleep.

Afraid to sleep, to not fall asleep…

The frustration of that birthed an unfamiliar terror

That made me want to sleep

And to not want to sleep

Both and neither

Ever and never again.

Because sleeping felt like being locked in a box.

Because not sleeping felt like being locked in a box.

Locked in a fucking shrinking stinking box

With tingles of muted light breathing in through the little corner spots of the box.

And it felt like it was getting smaller with every collapsing breath.

It’s been a while

But I’m still recovering from that dark dwarfing feeling,

And sometimes forget

That I am not (currently)






I fear

That part of me always will be.




*** Just breathe…. It’s behind you now…. It was 8 years… or 8 seconds… ago. ***

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